In Abuja, Everyone’s Doing “Fine” — Until You Ask Twice

You greet someone in Abuja — they smile, they nod, they say “I’m good.” You believe them. But if you ask again — really ask — you’ll see the flicker in their eyes, the pause, the sigh before they change the topic. Because in this city, “I’m fine” isn’t always the truth. Sometimes, it’s a survival tactic.

Nobody wants to look like they’re struggling — even when they are.

Antonia U.

🎭 The Pressure to Look Like You’ve Made It

You wake up. You dress well. You post something intelligent. You enter meetings with energy. But deep down, you're exhausted from pretending everything’s working.

The bills are overdue.
The salary isn’t coming.
The side hustle is dragging.
But you still say “we thank God.”

Because what’s the alternative? Pity? Judgement? Someone thinking you’re not “serious”?

📱 Abuja Is Filtered — Online and Offline

This city is curated.
On WhatsApp, it’s wins and weddings.
On IG, it’s cars, cafes, and cruise.
Even in church groups, everyone seems “blessed and highly favoured.”

So when you're down, it feels like you're the only one failing.

But you’re not.

People are grinding silently. Borrowing softly. Crying privately. You just don’t see it.

🧠 What Helped Me Breathe Again

• I stopped lying about being okay

• I created a “real” circle — 2–3 people I can be honest with

• I let go of “what will people say”

• I realized success isn’t a straight road — and neither is survival

These days, I still wear clean clothes. Still post. Still smile.
But I also rest. I say no. I cry when I need to. I’m learning to be okay with not being okay all the time.

💬 Ever Faked “Fine”?

Tell us what’s really going on — anonymously or openly.
Tag @abujamailonline or email editor@abujamail.com with #Voices