Saturday, July 12, 2025

I’m Not Where I Thought I’d Be by Now — But I’m Still Trying


Williams O.
Pensive serious black man looking away on a park
Pensive serious black man looking away on a park - Credit:istockphoto

By 25, I thought I’d have my own apartment, a steady income, maybe a cute pet, and enough savings to take random weekend trips — but I’m here at 28, battling rent, restarting side hustles, dodging “so what do you do now?” questions, and waking up some mornings with a quiet panic I can’t explain.

There’s a quiet heartbreak that comes with becoming the version of yourself you didn’t expect.

Timi S.

No one warns you about this stage — where you’re not failing exactly, but also not winning; you’re doing things, making effort, staying afloat… but nothing feels quite enough.

You scroll past people’s achievements online and feel both happy for them and weirdly left behind.
You start avoiding LinkedIn.
You stop opening emails from your university.
You become that friend who’s always “figuring things out.”


📉 When You Realize “The Plan” Doesn’t Fit Anymore

There’s a version of my life I held on to — job at a big firm, cute car, gym membership, fun weekends. That version doesn’t exist.

Instead, I freelance. I pitch. I do small gigs. I stretch ₦10k across five days and pray PHCN behaves.

And weirdly — I’m okay.

Not because I’ve “settled,” but because I’ve learned that life doesn’t move in straight lines, and success isn’t always loud or perfect.


🧠 What I’ve Had to Unlearn

  • That slow seasons mean failure

  • That my worth is tied to my productivity

  • That everyone else has it figured out

  • That if it’s not happening fast, it’s not meant to be

Some days I move with fire. Some days I rest with guilt. Some days I laugh for hours, then cry at 11:17 PM for no reason I can name.

But every day, I still try.

And that counts.


🌱 What I Know Now

Growth is quiet.
Healing is messy.
Peace isn’t passive — it’s something you fight for.
And trying — even when no one sees it — is an act of rebellion in this loud, performative world.

So if you’re not where you thought you’d be?
It’s okay.
You’re not behind.
You’re still becoming.


💬 Can You Relate?

Tag us at @abujamailonline with your own journey, or email editor@abujamail.com with #Voices

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